There have been many times since becoming a mother that I have turned to our blessed virgin and wished I could be more like her, by living my life simply, honestly and purely as she did. To give selflessly and appreciate all that I have been given. I have thought about how amazing it would be to have visions of her, but am quickly reminded of St. Teresa of Avila whom has warned that such a desire shows a lack of humility and leaves the soul open to great peril at the hands of the devil, and with this mea culpa (my fault).From that I am once again humbled and renewed in my effort to live a Marian life.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011 was Emie’s first birthday! She is one can you believe it? It certainly does not seem possible and yet it is. I have to say that other than the excitement of her first birthday the day started out like any other day. I got up and followed my normal morning routine, grabbed my church keys and rosary and left the house for work. The day was, shall we say, uneventful. I worked on the Christmas Bulletin, ate lunch and processed through my normal job duties. As I said goodnight to everyone in the office and headed out the front doors, I was in awe with how very warm it felt for being two weeks away from Christmas. I skipped a couple of steps thinking about how nice it would be to spend time with my family and celebrate my youngest birthday. It was then that I noticed a most unusually smell. It smelled something was flowering so much so in fact that I did a quick look around to see if the warm weather had brought up anything. All of a sudden it hit me that it smelled like I was in a small un-circulated room that was full of blooming roses. It was so sweet, but definitely not overpowering. Then my mind shifted to something I have been told my several different people, that Mary has been attributed to the smell of roses. So I am now convinced that our blessed mother was there with me in that moment. So much so that I have asked others who left around the same time and they did not notice any smell.
Was it really the Blessed Mother? And if it was, why at that moment when my mind was so very far away from her? Perhaps it was her gentle hand upon my shoulder reminding me to take in the small moments and to just be still and listen. I think the following prayer says it best:
“Gracious God, I ask you to plant a seed of stillness in my soul. Everything in my life moves ever more quickly, and I am continually expected to fit more things into time that is already brimful with activity. Even when I have moments that require nothing of me, my mind races and I seem unable to locate a switch to turn it off. Give me, each day, the desire and capacity to breathe in the wonder of air, to envision a still lake on a windless dawn, to drop deep into the well of my own being and find there the peace of your presence. I ask this for the sake of your love. Amen.” Copyright ©1999-2008 explorefaith.org